Making Social Media Social

Looking inward, reframing mindsets and connections

I opened my first social media account media back in 2007. These were the days of Bebo and Myspace. My biggest worry was how much “love” I received and who was at the top of my friend list. I remember most people in my class at school caring about similar issues.

In 2021, it seems like a distant memory. The landscape of social media has changed vastly. The evolution of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and, more recently, TikTok have shaped our daily lives. We feel a buzz when we see that little red icon appearing on our home screens. The dopamine hit becomes irresistible and what is at first an innocent check of our notifications becomes 15 minutes of watching videos and browsing stories from friends, family and people from all over the world.

In a blog post from Maryville University on the evolution of social media:

At first, social media existed to help end-users connect digitally with friends, colleagues, family members, and like-minded individuals they might never have met in person.

To large extent, this remains fairly true. There is very little effort required to keep in contact with friends in different countries and see what their daily lives are like. Diving into different cultures has become easier than ever. Following a varied variety of accounts can give you insight into different cultures. Of course, this can never replace you being there in person. This is one of the disadvantages that social media and the internet at large play today.

It is very easy to become trapped in the vicious cycle of checking your phone every so often to see if something has happened in your feed. Have our favourite accounts posted something new and valuable in the last 2 hours since we checked? Chances are, probably not.

We have been and will continue to be psychologically affected by the rise of social media. One such way is our perception and experience of empathy. In her book The Future of Feeling: Building Empathy in a Tech-Obsessed World, Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips says:

Social technology is ostensibly about connecting people, but it doesn’t often foster the empathy that’s needed for real human connection.

What does this tell us?

As a society, we are losing direction in understanding one another. If you’re interested in empathy and what it means, check out an article I published on it here.

It also means we are loosening the connections that once held us together in a pre-smartphone era.

This has prompted me to ask deeper and more meaningful questions about the way in which I use social media.

I’ve begun to ask myself “why?”.

When we undertake a task, we often start with “what?”. What is the end goal? What is the objective of this task? Then, we think of “how”?. How am I going to achieve this goal? Rarely is “why” considered. Why are pursuing this?

This idea was popularised in the 2009 book Start with Why by Simon Sinek. Although the book focuses primarily on businesses and company culture, the principles can be applied in your personal life.

For me, I’ve decided to ask myself why I use social media and post on here.

How many of you have experienced trying to tell a story to someone when they’re on their phone? I’ve done this plenty of times.

Reflecting on times when I’ve done this, I realise that the other person in the conversation may have been trying to tell me something important or be reaching out for someone to listen to them.

I won’t claim to be perfect in this regard. It is a part of my daily life I am actively trying to improve. I believe this is how we foster true connections with each other, by being present and actively listening in every conversation.

We can use social media and blogs to initiate this.

Reaching out over the internet to set up an in-person meeting allows people who would never be able to connect and meet previously to do so with greater ease.

This is my intended goal with my online presence.

To make new connections that can hopefully lead to real-life meetings (I’ll settle for Zoom meetings if geography isn’t in my favour).

Social media can be both a tool and a hindrance to success and productivity in the modern world. It is a huge part of our daily lives and looks likely to do so for the foreseeable future.

Are we likely to return to the roots on which social media were founded? That can only be dictated by the users themselves. By reframing our thought process to why we use it as opposed to what social media app we feel impulsed to check next, we create a more socially in-person connected future.

I hope what lies ahead is more people becoming aware of their usage and using social media for creating new connections while nurturing existing ones.

Thanks for reading my article. I would greatly appreciate it if you share this with anyone who might find this useful.

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Have a great day,

Josh